Triggers are purposeful and healing intel when we allow them to show us what we need to see/integrate.
Rather than be afraid of them, push them away, wish they never happened, try to tip toe around them, argue and change each other over them… we can be thankful and allow the feeling in our awareness, and see where our attention goes as we feel it. What stories come up? Notice how it feels and shift accordingly.
I’m not always clear right away why I feel what I feel, but it is my intention to tell less story about it and be with it directly so that it may clarify.
This is why it’s better to sometimes process on my own VS share inaccurate stories before it’s clear, unless the two people have developed a nuanced communication of “noticing” what arises without labeling, with a strong foundation in direct experience/Awareness that can see through illusion of story, and refine storytelling so that it is a more accurate description coming from that direct experience. In this way two people can effectively process triggers together and evolve our stories to a more accurate, free, and expansive pov on ourselves/reality as it authentically is.
(I find a lot of deep Rooted triggers come from limited/disempowering stories of myself in relations to others, usually some form of giving away my power, so feeling the trigger brings up the story, I feel The feeling and notice the story until the story is set free to a more accurate one… Ie my dads communicates a certain way and I feel dumb and disliked VS actually he is hurting and this is his way of expressing desire for care)
And so triggers are directions back to ourselves when respected properly. And this is the entire point: realizing and embodying our true self while supporting other selves to do the same.