I’m watching the first section of the second nst. Haven’t even gotten very far yet but Benthino is blowing my mind again!
Just shift. what am I afraid to let go of by just shifting? it never even occurred to me this was a possibility. I thought I had to heal and understand everything to clear it as an obstacle.
Today I was wallowing in a trigger that I might have labeled as distatrous and traumatic from a past version of myself.
and yet I see that indulging my process can be keeping me stuck in it and on the side of the shore I don’t want to be anymore. when I could simply shift to the other shore.
what is it that I think I’m trying to get by holding on and continuing to indulge my process? More Understanding? Closure? Certainty? Validation? Making every experince/pain important and profound?
But with a higher vision, is any of this relevant anyway? Can I really just shift into the vision and not indulge the processes and rather witness it from a more essential, direct level of expeirnce?
I notice a subtle anxiety arise that desires to go back and tie a bow on the trigger. Figure it out. And that the biggest fear over shifting is thinking unless I get to the bottom of each trigger and understand its cause… Thoroughly digest it and mull over it… I will not extract all its insight and repeat it.
OMG…but what if contained in the witnessing of it essentially was the understanding and alignment for the future distortions? And that shifting now was also shifting me in the future.
shifting into alignment now, was creating the muscle memory for shifting next time? And that was enough? And I didn’t need to process and figure out (indulge) as nearly as much as i thought I needed to?