I’m resisting the hell out of the moment.
Drained with all the gross input and lack of subtlety.
Hating myself for being pressured into activity.Going through the motions. Doing what I do not want.
Again I felt pressure. And couldn’t feel enough clarity to say no. Enough vision to have my own plans.
And I hated it.
Wasted time. Wasted space.
And again I repeat the mistake. Again I do. I can’t say no and I go through the motions.
Why?
How can I build a legacy with all this random activity. Random input of people and places and ideas? Why can I not say no? What do I keep shooting myself in the foot?
Why can’t I remember what I desire? Time to self. And have the guts to say no to random activity that’s not even interesting.
Say no. Say no. Say no. Say no. Unless you are clear it’s a fuck yes, say no!