I had a question about balancing the bliss, and we really nailed it today: I am creating separation.
Its helpful and beautiful at times to allow myself to bliss out on the visions and dreams and feel all my destiny state resonance, but I can over do it. (indulging fantasy has been a tendency for as long as I can rememeber)
I notice when it’s properly balanced, like a bow and arrow, with just enough tention of visuals, close enough to the actual reality of the moment now, not too far ahead, and applied to actual steps that it feels really good and can be sustained/expanded/deepend/further actualized.
I notice when I visualize too far ahead it can feel sour. And I notice if I pay attention too much to others viewing me rather than the being of it, it also starts to feel very sour (very interesting).) And especially when I milk it for too long, it feels like I just ate too much candy and I feel sick and I want to get as far away from the fantasy as possible.
And if I am not careful, paying careful attention, it feels abrupt when I come back down, disorienting and distracting… Imbalanced, and I do not make enough proper progress on the actualizing of that destiny state.
It feels like I’m indulging impure fantasies. Its a bit of an addicting pattern. On one level they are so delicious, but as I keep milking it, it feels bad, but still there is a desire to indulge. (mostly the ones for being seen for how amazing I am…)
I think we hit the nail on the head with: I am essentially creating separation.
But other times swimming in the visuals and the feeling of the dreams for hours feels so amazing and holistic, like a beautiful orgasm of destiny that then gently comes back down to peace of emptiness, without the need to get away from it, and it feels like me without separation.
Because if I pay attention properly and let go as feels good, the bliss melts like an expansive lake into the present moment, and the bliss feels complete.
I wanted to ask how, but clearly all there is to do is rest as causeless awareness and notice. The indulgence/impurity with clarify itself. The point is to purify the separation.
I desire to deepen this destiny state and actualize it further, as I rest in the stability of cause less awareness!
I want to further refine this balance that feels off.
Refining when to lean in, when to let go, and when to take action.
And it’s clear to me that the point is the point. And that is enough. No need to overshare. No need to even be overexcited. It’s all so matter of fact. It literally is what I am. I am causeless awareness…
STAY ON POINT. NO APEARATION. NO NEED FOR A SECOND. it is my destiny to refine.